The Great

We had the chance to see my grandpa and step-grandma at the beginning of August.  They were visiting Ohio from Florida and so I took the kids on a short trek to meet up with them. He hadn't seen Annalise yet - and after all our losses and g-pa and g-ma's many prayers...it was an emotional introduction! This makes the 7th living great grandchild for them :)

2 months!

Can you tell she has grown just over 2 lbs and an inch in length?!? Annalise is beginning to coo and follows us with her eyes. She loves being talked to and we've discovered she has dimples when she smiles!! So cute.

I did a little photo shoot the evening before we left for vacation. I've seen some simple, yet beautiful pictures (yes, most likely on pinterest) of a newborn on a bed and so this was my humble attempt to capture OUR personal memories of places and spaces and sizes :)

One Month!

Can't believe it's been a month already! Time has flown and we are trying to take in every minute. We really understand the value of time after the last 6 or so years and 3 losses and I'm trying not to be too sad as we begin hitting new milestones.  We just love this girl to pieces. We are excited she is growing and thriving...just know this newborn phase is so short!

Emotionally we are doing well. Annalise is healing the hole in my heart that I never thought possible this side of heaven.  She will never replace Noah, Joanna, or Emilie. However, she has brought us some pure joy...you know that comes naturally without effort (the can't wipe the smile off my face kind), not the kind you have to choose and work at through the grief (cause that is real too)! I know the emotions will come as we hit milestones with Anna we missed out on with the other 3...but I know His grace will continue to meet us in those moments. We've actually caught ourselves more than once calling Anna, Emilie. This can throw me for a crazy, sad, teary loop...but in some ways I'm grateful for the tangible reminder and opportunity to choose to give Thanks in every circumstance! I'm working on it...

I took some pics outside yesterday :) It wasn't so hot and the natural light was nice. Although it was a bit tricky holding up the big golf umbrella (to avoid the shadows) and snapping the shutter at the same time!

So here are a few attempts from yesterday along with some photoshop fun today:)

Our Baby Girl!!

I thought I'd start something fun for me our family to look back and see how Anna has grown. I know she will change so fast! I wish time would slow down. I'll just do my best to soak in each day, each month, each stage.

Although I did a scrapbook for each of her brothers first year, I don't know if I'll be able to do that, so this is my feeble attempt at doing something creative for her. Each pic will keep track of her weight and height and then I add a couple words or phrases to describe her. Sound like fun? Ok, watch her grow with us...

A few peeks...

Here are just a couple pics of the adoring brothers and our sweet little bundle of Joy!

Little Footsies...Precious Wonder!

Can you believe she is Really HERE?!?

One Sweet Sista!

Love at First Sight!

Surprise..."Do you have a name?"

As Mike and I tried to come up with a name...I found it was going to be no small task!  I searched books and websites for ideas. I shared them with Mike and the response was always the same..."I don't really like that."  So when I suggested he come up with some ideas for me to critique...and he couldn't...we finally settled on one that we both thought was OK.  He said more than once, "I don't know what I like, I just know what I DON'T like."  So you can see I had a lot of help :)

The meaning of the name was a significant factor to me.  Many people suggested "Grace" but I wanted something not so obvious...though perhaps with that in the meaning.  I began to search and found that ANNALISE not only meant "graced with God's favor" but it also had special ties to her two sisters, Joanna Claire and Emilie Alyse. (click on their names to read the meanings behind their names)  I didn't think it'd be too creepy or too forced, though I really pondered whether it was the right choice...nope, this was indeed a unique AND special name - with a very special meaning to me...and I liked that we could shorten it to Anna as a cute little nickname.

It was at Mike's prompting that we go with her middle name...JOY.  It not only happens to be my middle name, but I thought it would be a wonderful reminder of the choice we have each day.  What do I want to be "known" for...what characteristics do I want my little girl to embrace and radiate as she lives her life?  YEP, Joy about sums it up!

I've been reading a book throughout this pregnancy that has helped me to be more aware of HIS gifts of Grace each day, to be Thankful for them - recording them or speaking them out load in praise and worship of His love for me...and oh, what Joy that can bring to my heart - no matter my circumstances!!  After all I agree with Joseph Campbell who says, "We cannot cure the world of sorrows but we can choose to live in joy."

I also came across this verse several times in the last few weeks...it is an encouragement to me as we seek to raise her up to know and love the Lord we have CLUNG to these last 5 years with all our hearts!

Annalise Joy remember that:

"The Lord your God is with you.  He is mighty to save.  He will take delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."   -Zephaniah 3:16-17

Overdue...

Can you believe I have been "silent" since February?

It's been hard to put everything out there...post all the dr visit updates...my feelings...

I've been doing some paper and pen journaling to record my thoughts this time instead.

Feeling a little more guarded.  Working on trusting the only One who is in Control...protecting myself, and you, from being so invested with all the details.

I know many of you have checked in several times over the last few months... and have found no new posts.

So today, I thought I'd share some of the pictures my friend, Kayte, from Legacy Portraits took a couple weeks ago.

It was one -on a short list- of baby steps I've been taking to "get excited" about nearing the end of my pregnancy and meeting this precious girl!!  I'm thankful for some sweet memories on a very sunny morning :)

Ok, just to clarify, I'm 35 weeks today.  The negotiating of Baby K's birthday has begun with my doc.  I know he will continue to gently push me to make it to 37+ weeks.  He'd like her to be about 6 lbs.  He said at my last appointment that waiting is like shuffleboard...we want to get as close to the edge without going over.  Of course, I've looked at the calendar - full of black ink and orange and yellow highlights- that show all the boy's baseball games, end of school, start of basketball camp, grad parties, family traveling in and available to take care of T & D etc... I think I know when would be ideal...we'll just have to see if baby and my doc and I can be patient enough to continue waiting for the best timing both physically and emotionally.

Meditating on some of these truths lately...

"We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name." -Ps 33:20

"As for God, His way is blameless...He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock except our God." - Ps 18:30-31 

 "Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord."  -Ps 31:24

"This is the day which the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it."  -Ps 118:24

 "For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb...And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them."  -Ps 139:13-16

 {This is the little bear hat I made for Baby Koning...still working on the blanket to match.}

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  -Rom 15:13