WELL...

**Update**I ADDED SOME FAMILY PICS(Thank you Jen!)**

I'll start with yesterday's events. I was getting antsy wondering what was going on with our little girl. I didn't think I could make it another week before going to the doctor to find out. So, I called the office and they let me come in to see one way or another if there was a heartbeat. Actually, I was prepared to hear the worst- just kind of a bad feeling. But to my surprise, as I watched to screen, I saw a little white thing pulsating. It was slow, I could even tell, and the doctor said that it didn't look good.(Today the nurse told me she thought the rate was in the 30's.) He was pretty confident that we would not find the heart beating Friday. He said that "we wouldn't be making the decision." Our baby's heart would not last much longer. He gave us the option of going to the hospital to induce then, but said he imagined that we wouldn't feel comfortable doing that WITH a heartbeat. We agreed and told him we didn't want to induce until there was really no heartbeat. So I left, starting to mentally make a list of all I wanted to do before Friday.
My friend Jen met us this morning to take some family pictures. (and "belly" pictures for me :)) This was something I had been wanting to do, but didn't really expect it would need to be done today. After the pics, I called the doctors office and they told me to come right in. I was as prepared as I could be to see a still heart and then proceed with an induction. Again, to my surprise, I saw a little white heart pulsating on the screen. The doctor said, "I guess the baby didn't get the memo." He said each time he sees the baby getting progressively worse, more fluid building up around the heart and in the abdomen. The heart rate was still slow at 76 beats/min. So again, we wait. Monday I'll go in to be checked again. Evidently, he still believes the heart will give out this weekend and wants to check again Monday.
"Wow Lord, what's going on here? I thought I was all ready, and now I have to put my life on hold for a couple more days. This roller coaster of emotions is unbelievable. I'm so thankful for more time, as hard as it is not to be able to 'move on' and begin the healing. Tonight I have felt, more than ever, flutters in my womb. My little girl is making her presence known! A gift I will cherish. Thank you for this time, but help me as I wait for the inevitable. I'm trusting that your timing is perfect, help my heart line up with the truth I know in my head."
I read this on the journal page of Steve Green's website. It is a quote from Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening that was an excellent reminder for me. Thanks for your prayers!!

"God is always thinking upon us, never turns aside His mind from us, has us always before His eyes; and this is precisely as we would have it, for it would be dreadful to exist for a moment beyond the observation of our heavenly Father. His thoughts are always tender, loving, wise, prudent, far-reaching, and they bring to us countless benefits: hence it is a choice delight to remember them. The Lord always did think upon His people: hence their election and the covenant of grace by which their salvation is secured; He always will think upon them: hence their final perseverance by which they shall be brought safely to their final rest. In all our wanderings the watchful glance of the Eternal Watcher is evermore fixed upon us—we never roam beyond the Shepherd’s eye. In our sorrows He observes us incessantly, and not a pang escapes Him; in our toils He marks all our weariness, and writes in His book all the struggles of His faithful ones. These thoughts of the Lord encompass us in all our paths, and penetrate the innermost region of our being. Not a nerve or tissue, valve or vessel, of our bodily organization is uncared for; all the littles of our little world are thought upon by the great God. "