Memorial Service

From Our Hands to Jesus'There will be a Memorial Service for Joanna Claire

on Saturday the 15th

at 11:00am

held at Wallen Baptist Church

(1001 West Wallen Rd, Ft Wayne,IN 46825)

Thanks for walking on this journey with us, friends!

Kristin, Mike and Family

On the schedule...

...Nothing but time. The pros: Relax, Rest, Quiet, Time to Think. The cons: Quiet Time to Think.
It's been an interesting few days, hard to believe our little girl was born a week ago already. Time just keeps on going and yet in my head and heart I'm stuck back at last Tuesday. It's been good for me to see Trent and Drew enjoying themselves and I love seeing their personalities come out throughout the events of the day...swimming, boating, tubing, kayaking, rope swinging, and just hanging out with their cousins. I'll give you a peek at the things that are making me smile this week among the tears.

**This was Trent's attempt to get a pic of Mike and I...oh well :)**

Introducing...

Drew as Indiana Jones!


Hope you get as BIG a smile as I did watching this!

Vacation? Now?

Well, we made it Saturday evening to the cottages with Mike's family. I actually slept pretty good last night. Thanks to Mike's mom and my mom for doing loads of laundry and helping me pack! But it might take a few days for my swelling ankles to recover from being on my feet more than I should have - I plan to sit and relax this week, promise!

I'm enjoying a cup of tea this Sunday morning and looking out over the lake - what a beautiful creation from the most Awesome Creator! I'm looking over and over at Joanna Claire's photos and thinking about Joanna's Creator not making any mistakes. She, a beautiful canvas to display His gentle brushstrokes and His sovereignty over all of the things He has made. Each of her tiny parts has been restored to perfection. She is alive, and one day I'll Will Rise too, no more sorrow, no more pain!

So, as you can guess, I've been listening to the song I Will Rise, among many others, and I've been reading in Hebrews. Chapter 7 verse 19 tells us, "and a better hope is introduced, by which we draw near to God." This hope Mike and I claim is the gift of Jesus - sent to die for us (ME, Mike, Trent, Drew, Noah, Joanna, YOU) by His heavenly Father so that we can have a new life with our Creator God. Chapter 10 verse 23 says, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."

I also wanted to attach the link to my aunt's blog - can't wait to get a hold of this book! Read her post Treasures in Jars of Clay. Many of you have commented about Joanna's "name" picture and I must give credit for the idea to my cousin Katie! She's just started a photography blog here.

An Uncle's Thoughts

As I wait to pen my thoughts and the events these last few days, I wanted to share the letter Joanna's uncle wrote. I think it captures perfectly my heart as well. THANK YOU for this SPECIAL GIFT, Kevin.

To my tiny niece Joanna,

I'm so glad I got to see you, Joanna, the day that you were born.
All bundled up, I held you, such a tiny baby's form.
Little Joanna Claire, such a great big shining light.
You have shown us God is gracious, and that His timing is right.
Without speaking a single word, you've already said so much.
Kicking in your mommy's tummy, did you know how many lives you'd touch?
See, just like your older brother, you are fulfilling your design,
God made you with a special heart, that now beats in perfect time.
You've shown so many people that God controls all of our days.
You are proof to the whole world that God is perfect in His ways.
We can not always understand why things happen like they do.
But we are certain that God is Love, because He created You!
I'm a little disappointed, Joanna, I have to wait so long,
To get to know my little niece, and ask you how you are so strong.
So til we get to see you, Joanna, we'll feel like we are apart,
But we know that you're with Jesus, living in rhythm with His heart.

No words...

Joanna Claire was born at 7:28 am this morning July 28. She was a full 26 weeks old. She weighed 2lbs. 13 oz. and was 12 in long. Her hands and feet were so tiny. Thank you all for your prayers, I have felt a real peace today.

I wanted to share the lyrics to the song I kept thinking of today...

He Knows My Name

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call

Joanna Claire's with Jesus

My tears are flooding over as I play the confirmation I got from the doctor just an hour and a half ago over in my head. Emotions and thoughts are overwhelming as I anticipate all that will take place in the next 24 hours. Let me back up a bit, last night as I enjoyed sitting with a friend talking and eating some Cold Stone I wondered how long I get to feel the hiccups and kicks from my little girl. Never did I imagine this week to be the "perfect time" God would chose to allow Joanna's heart to beat it's last. Today I got out my trusty dopplar and tried to find her heartbeat, but it was quiet. I don't allow myself to get all worked up, sometimes shes just not in a good position. I tried the cold soda and decided to wait to see if I could feel her kick or move. We enjoyed a wonderful day with some friends - swimming - the boys had a blast!! I checked again when we got home, but couldn't find a heartbeat. I called the doctors office and they said to come on in. My heart racing I dropped off the boys and raced to the doctors office...getting very impatient with all the SLOW drivers! He asked if I had a sixth sense about things. I told him I was not very confident about what I'd find out and as he moved the wand over my belling I saw nothing but black and white...no more movement - where so many weeks before, Joanna had defied the odds and just kept fighting to stay alive. He said, "I'm sorry, but you were right." He said, "Go home spend time with your family, get things settled, and meet me at the hospital at 9pm. I'll have everything lined up and ready to go." So, we'll head in to be induced tonight and say 'Goodbye before our Hello' to Joanna Claire in the morning.

We appreciate your prayers! Don't understand this timing like I said before because my mom is out of state doing some advanced training before school starts, we have been planning a family vacation to Michigan next week, Mike is very busy at work as another co-worker is on vacation. AHHH!!

So what can I change? Nothing but my attitude...so, I'll continue to trust that God is faithful and caring and is not at all looking down from heaven saying, "Ha, let's see how you do now! Figure this one out!" He is hurting with us, this is another reminder to us that this world is not all there is. There is a perfect world he has provided for us, and that is HEAVEN...no pain, no tears, no disease, no death! We are thankful for the assurance of this HOPE. Christ made a way for us to be a part of heaven through His own death on the cross and I can trust that no matter what tragedy or brokenness this world throws at us, we will come out with the faith that God has not abandoned us and left us alone. His Spirit abides with us giving us comfort, strength, peace, and hope for the future. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, boy, just the opposite!! My tears will be my constant companion for a while.

We'll try and post updates as soon as we can...