A Break and A Blessing

My boys came back from Grandma's house today. It has been such a nice "time out" for me. I didn't get so much of "my list" accomplished, but it was a nice mental and emotional break. The boys had SO MUCH fun and I had some quiet time to rest, relax, read, think...and yes I did splurge for a pedicure :)

Another highlight for me was to go downtown with my dear friend Jen (and her new camera) to take some pictures. I can hardly believe that it has been 11 weeks ago since we thought we were taking the last pictures of our time with Joanna Claire. So...26 weeks and counting and it was definitely a milestone to document in pictures. It was a gift of time -wandering around, laughing, and capturing wonderful memories as I felt Joanna kick and move. Thank you, Jen, for your time, your encouragement, and your friendship.
We also swung by Lutheran Hospital to drop off the last of the "extra" photo books I had here at home. A nurse called the church to let us know they were all out! The staff are so thankful to be able to give these photo books to help moms continue to cherish the memories of their baby. Thanks to many of you who made these books and prayed for the moms and families who would receive them. Looks like we'll have to get together and make some more - maybe sometime in late August early September.

Tuesday I met with the doctor. Same old, same old...checked her heart, her head, her abdomen. Didn't get a good read on the heart rate - she's still falling right between 44-46 when I check at home. Fluid continues to accumulate. I asked if she was still measuring on schedule like she had at 20 weeks, but I was not so surprised to hear she is lagging behind now. Doctor's guess was about 21 weeks - though he only measured the head not the femur.

We mentioned we would be going to Michigan for a vacation in a couple weeks and he said, "Good, go. I think that's great." He'll send a copy of my records with us just in case anything should happen, but I'm not too nervous, I know God's timing is perfect and I'll just have to continue to trust Him. It was nice to get such positive approval from my doctor too!

He said when I get back in August he'd give steroids to me/baby to help her lungs develop. He mentioned briefly a couple scenarios we'd discuss in more detail if Joanna's heart is still beating come September. He mentioned he didn't want me to feel like an experiment, but that there was a procedure (he gave me the medical name, but I can not remember) where he could insert a needle into the baby's abdomen and take out some fluid. This would help me to be able to deliver naturally (because her belly is so bloated with fluid) and he said it'd be a whole lot easier to resuscitate her if they needed to after she was born. I'm not getting my hopes up, but it's nice to see him covering all the possible bases...God has shown his predictions to be wrong so many times - the doc has to be ready for anything with this little girl!

I'm amazed at the difference between the doctor in 2 1/2 years. When I saw him with Noah, my visits were so impersonal - in, out, quick, to the point, abrupt, even offensive at times. I no longer feel like a number, a record, or a file. He sees me as a mom, a wife, a MOTHER. He takes time to talk, process, and really listen to what we want. His attitude has changed - I know he respects our ethical choices (he did with Noah too), BUT he's CHOOSING to have a different attitude as he interacts with us. Little Joanna Claire is truly living up to her name, shining a light in that office that he is really grappling with. I marveled after this last appointment as I watched him step back toward the sink and away from the door and begin chit-chatting about our vacation and Michigan golf courses with Mike...wow, we've come a long way. I'm thankful for the changes in his thinking and that God continues to "let me in on" this transformation.

I guess that's about it for now. Thank you for caring about us. Thank you for taking the time to read our updates and bring our family before the Lord.
A verse comes to mind...2 Corinthians 12:9 "But He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." I'm thankful for the strength he gives me each day just to put one foot in front of the other. I most surely would have given-up by now if I relied on my own strength. His grace is sufficient!