Baby girl

Well I'm just shy of 20 weeks. I can hardly believe we heard the doctor tell us "she would have no heartbeat tomorrow"...and that was 3 weeks ago. The doctor told me today that he really didn't think I'd make it through May. But as he saw her heart still beating, he told me "he's just along for the ride now." He said that the 50-60 bpm we continue to see/hear is from the ventricle. It is programed to beat at that rate regardless. The problem continues to be from the atrium. It doesn't seem to be working - it is just full of fluid. I asked how it was possible for her to even survive on 50-60bpm and he told me, "I can explain it." Later, he looked at the brain and turned on the blue and red color, it seemed as though their was brain activity, though he didn't say so in words. He reminded me as he's said before that the demand on her heart will only increase, but he can not predict when it will be "too much." As long as I'm healthy, he is willing to watch and care for me during this pregnancy. He told me he is seeing 3 other families right now who have chosen to continue their pregnancy as we have. I truly believe that the Lord is softening his heart...how can this not?

He said there is only one way he'd begin "pushing buttons." He said it isn't likely, but it is a possibility. I could get something called mirror(s) syndrome (he commented that I wouldn't find it on the internet!) Basically, the placenta would become so full of fluid that it would become poisonous to me and cause toxemia. That is the only way he would "push buttons" for me to deliver in spite of her heart still beating. Then he said, "After seeing your 2 boys last week, I'll be 'darned' if I let anything happen to you!"

I saw lots of black on the screen, indicating fluid. He showed me her intestines and liver just "floating around" in fluid. He said that she has some in her neck also. I asked about what she'd looked like after delivery. I asked if she'd look bloated? He said, "like the Michelin man, but not so big that you couldn't deliver." I picture it like the little bloated Ethiopian babies I've seen in pictures. I asked if there would be any other physical thing that would be abnormal. He said, "no, she'd look perfect." Again, he's admitted he's just along for the ride. What a crazy ride it is for us! Don't' have to understand it, just have to trust that God's ways and timing are perfect! Easier said than done some days, so thank you all again for lifting us up in prayer! You all have been such an encouragement to us. We are clinging to the hope we have through faith! Thanks for taking our hand, helping us up, and walking beside us down this rough road.I'm so thankful for our first two blessings!!! What joy they bring to our home!!!